So, who do you call...?

I have this theory. I've discussed it with a few people and I think I have a good point, but not everyone may agree with me. Still, hear me out.

Young children can be trained with the same techniques as dogs.

The best way to train a dog is with positive reinforcement, lots of praise, lots of treats, and above all, clear and simple directions. Dogs respond to consistency and routine. Sound familiar? That's because many child-rearing books teach the same techniques. Young children are concrete thinkers. That means that if a thing does not directly affect them (and probably in a physical way) then it is mostly meaningless to them.


I've read that even the smartest of dogs has the mentality of human toddler. They are pleasers that seek affection and are clever and persistent in the reaching of goals. Likewise, children are scary in their ability to devise plans to get what they want but ultimately they desire to be loved and approved of.

We treat kids to privileges when they behave and enforce punishments when they don't. When they don't understand what's expected of them they get nervous and act out. Changes in routine make them uncertain. The more you think about it t he more you'll see. Maybe a good dog training manual out to sit on the shelf next to Sal Severe and Kevin Leman. I recommend The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller. Part of the book is her personal story and why she likes dogs so much. It might be a really good story. I don't know. I skipped to the training part. Geller believes in non-aggressive training that build dogs up rather than bullying them into behavior. Good for dogs and kids if you ask me.

So, now you just have one question you have to answer. If you think I'm way off base and have no business rearing children with this kind of whacko philosophy, who do you call?

DCFS or PETA?

Tiger pits and self-control...

"I understand that kids will be kids but you can't just let them get away with it."
--Anonymous

The person who said this was frustrated and actually mispoke what they were trying say, but the quote was so perfect. It appealed to me. On the surface, it seems harsh and unforgiving. After all, we've been indoctrinated by decades of Disney Family Movies to respond to a child's hijinks with a shrug and a laugh. 'Oh that Johnny, what a prankster. Why just the other day he trapped the mail man in a Burmese Tiger Pit.' Other parents nod, appreciating the gift that Johnny must be to his parents.

That's stupid. Kids are dangerous and ill-suited to making their own decisions. Would a child actually dig a Burmese Tiger Pit to trap a Federal employee? Of course! Especially if he saw it on TV! All he lacks is stature, strength and commitment. And, don't bank on any kid's attention span to save you. They may not be able to attend to a three-second warning about digging holes in the yard, but they can spend hours plotting some diabolical shenanigan when you're not around.

The chaos of children is forgivable, strictly because they are children. They sin in ignorance. After all, they didn't know it was wrong to capture a mail man and they forgot (sometimes they really do!) you told them not to dig in the yard. But they will not be little forever. Kids that act like kids are called rowdy or a handful. Adults that act like kids are called psychopaths.

But, they can learn. That's what kids do best. They learn at an almost instant rate and to a near permanent degree. Ask anyone who has accidently cursed in front of a toddler. They can learn self-control, empathy, virtue. They learn them from us, just like the colorful adjectives and inappropriate song lyrics we wish they hadn't heard. So while it is okay for kids to be kids, we can forgive them, we must not let them get away with it. We are not raising children. We are raising adults from birth. By all means, teach them to act like one. That's what we do isn't it? Act like adults?

He said what...!?

We were driving around this morning when a familiar mini-van started tailing us. We pulled over and stopped to visit with Grandma and Grandpa for a minute. My youngest son just recieved an RC truck from them as a gift and so Grandma asked, 'How's the truck?'

'It's an apple.' He said, holding out the fruit he was chomping on.

He wasn't the least confused.

I love to watch my kids use language, to interact with other people. They can articulate their thoughts and feelings like only children can.

Too bad it takes them another ten years before they learn to think before they speak. Later, we went out to eat. For a long time I've jokes that teryaki chicken looks like a rat on a stick. My wife shared this joke with the kids while I was supervising a bathroom run.

So, my oldest son decides to check the truth of this with the waitress at the top of his considerable lungs. Just so everyone knows, the fine people of the Chinese Buffet don't seem to appreciate this kind of inquery.

So what's the deal? Do we, as parents, do this? Do we speak without thinking? Do we mispeak and overstep? I'm pretty sure we do. And they are as innocent as we are, which is to say, most of the time we don't mean to offend.

But ignorance is no excuse and so we will continue to be vigilant. Maybe someday they will all learn to watch what they say and think of manners as more than something other people have. As for me, well, every once in a while I open my mouth and the stupid just falls out. Ask my wife. Good thing fogiveness is divine.